Can meditation really improve your sleep quality? i’m literally asking this out loud to my cat who’s staring at me like i owe him rent. it’s 3:11 a.m. in bushwick and my ceiling fan is doing that clicky thing again, like it’s judging me harder than my mom when i told her i “forgot” to file taxes. phone’s face down but i can still see the glow thru the case, meditation app frozen at 00:07 for the third night in a row. anyway.
why i even tried letting meditation improve my sleep quality (hint: i was desperate)
i’m 32, my apartment is basically a hallway with a stove, and last month i woke up on the F train clutching a stranger’s trader joe’s bag full of kale. my brain runs on pure anxiety and cold brew. so when my therapist—nice lady, smells like eucalyptus—said “maybe try meditation to improve your sleep quality,” i laughed so hard i spit oat milk on my laptop. but then rent went up AGAIN, my ex texted “wyd” at 2am, and next thing i know i’m downloading calm like it’s gonna fix my life.
first night was a shitshow. plopped on my yoga mat that smells like cat pee and broken dreams, set timer for 10 mins, and immediately started rewriting a fight i had in 2017. by minute 3 i’m on webmd convinced i have a brain tumor. meditation improving sleep quality? yeah okay jan.
the two nights meditation kinda improved my sleep quality (don’t get excited)
okay there were literally two nights. night one: did that body scan thing where you “notice your left toe without judgment.” my toe was like “remember when you wore crocs to a wedding?” but i woke up at 7am without wanting to die?? night two: passed out mid-breath. like actually mid-inhale. woke up with drool on my pillow and no nightmare about my teeth falling out. wild.
what happens when meditation tries to improve your sleep quality but you’re built different
silence is my enemy. close my eyes and suddenly it’s a TED talk of every dumb thing i’ve said since middle school. like my brain got bored of bullying me.
- mistake 1: thought i was supposed to “win” at meditating. bro you’re not getting a trophy
- mistake 2: expected zen on day 1. got leg cramps and a sudden need to alphabetize my spices
- mistake 3: quit after 4 days bc “it’s not working.” spoiler: nothing works if you ghost it
tips from someone who still spells meditation wrong half the time
stuff that kinda worked between the panic attacks:
- start tiny. 60 seconds while your coffee drips. i used my microwave once—beep and i’m done
- pick something dumb to focus on. i use the squeak in my door. every squeak = i’m “present” lmao
- phone goes in the kitchen. brutal but my screen time went from “fbi watchlist” to “still bad but whatever”
the science (bc my mom will ask)
Outbound Link: This jama study on mindfulness and sleep
