rise of autoimmune diseases is legit ruining my week again, like my hands are so stiff i just dropped my phone in the toilet—again—and now im typing this one-handed on my laptop balanced on a pizza box because who has a desk in a philly studio?? anyway the radiator’s hissing, my neighbor’s blasting bad bunny at 11am, and my left ankle feels like someone parked a truck on it. i’m 34, not 84, but the rise of autoimmune diseases don’t care about your spotify wrapped. i used to eat wawa hoagies like it was my job, now the thought of provolone makes me wanna curl up and cry. whatever, here’s my hot mess express version of what’s going on and how i’m barely hanging on.
why the rise of autoimmune diseases feels like it’s stalking me
i swear the rise of autoimmune diseases waited till i finally got health insurance to strike. like, cool, thanks universe. was crushing it with freelance gigs, doing hot yoga (ok fine, warm yoga, i hate sweat), then one day my neck wouldn’t turn and my eyeballs felt like sandpaper. doctor said “hashimotos” and i was like “hashi-WHAT now?” googled it at 2am with a family size bag of takis and had a full meltdown because “brain fog” explained why i put the milk in the pantry last week. aarda.org says 50 million+ americans got some form of this nonsense now and the numbers keep climbing like my credit card debt. blame the air, the food, the fact we’re all stressed 24/7—idk man, i’m just trying not to swell up like a balloon.
that one time i almost pooped myself at target (rise of autoimmune diseases edition)
no lie, the rise of autoimmune diseases turned me into that person sprinting to the family restroom with a cart full of gluten-free oreos. i thought “leaky gut” was influencer bs till i read harvard health and realized my taco bell addiction was basically poking holes in my intestines. now my fridge looks like a hippie co-op exploded—kombucha, kimchi, some weird jar of “fermented garlic honey” that smells like feet but i swear calms my stomach. my cat judges me. i judge me. we all judge.
toxins everywhere and the rise of autoimmune diseases won’t quit
philly air tastes like pennies and broken dreams, and the rise of autoimmune diseases is thriving on it. i walk past this sketchy plant every day to get iced coffee and come home with a rash like i rolled in poison ivy. switched to a berkey filter after some epa report scared the crap outta me about forever chemicals, but i still microwave stuff in tupperware sometimes because i’m tired and human. nonstick pan? trashed it after a flare left me crying on the kitchen floor. replaced it with cast iron that weighs 47 pounds and i hate it but whatever, my joints thank me.
stress is the rise of autoimmune diseases’ hype man
stress and the rise of autoimmune diseases are ride or die. i was grinding 16-hour days, living on monster energy and spite, then woke up and couldn’t open a jar of pickles. my fingers looked like breakfast links. some science journal says cortisol screws your immune system—i say it turns you into a human stress ball. now i do “box breathing” while scrolling tiktok. it’s dumb but i haven’t punched a wall in three weeks so progress??
stuff i do to not let the rise of autoimmune diseases win (mostly)
protecting yourself from the rise of autoimmune diseases is like playing whack-a-mole with a hangover. here’s my half-assed playbook:
- sleep: in bed by 11 or my body riots. magnesium gummies taste like chalk but knock me out.
- move: yoga with adriene on youtube. i fall over in warrior two, laugh, count it as cardio.
- pills: vitamin d because philly sun is a myth, probiotics that cost more than my phone bill.
i track everything in my phone notes under “body betrayal log” and it’s 60% curse words, 40% grocery lists.
ugh the rise of autoimmune disease is a jerk but i’m jerkier—i’m fighting back with sauerkraut and spite. if you’re out there aching, foggy, or just done, pick one thing. one. then tell me in the comments what weird remedy.
Outbound Links:
American Autoimmune Related Diseases Association (AARDA) – stats on how many of us are dealing with the rise of autoimmune disease.
Harvard Health – The Gut-Autoimmune Connection – science behind leaky gut and the rise of autoimmune disease.
EPA – PFAS & Forever Chemicals – why I ditched plastic water bottles (mostly).
Journal of Autoimmunity – proof that stress is the rise of autoimmune disease’ toxic bestie.
